No need for anger
by bubblegum2000
Summary: I never said I wouldn't come back, did I? No, you never said anything. [GinRan, Complete]
1. Chapter 1

Notes: There's nothing more pleasant than getting nice reviews . So if you have the time, don't hesitate.

Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach.

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Chapter One

"Matsumoto! Move"

She was going to die. She knew it, it was ineluctable.

"Damnit move!"

She couldn't. Her legs, her arms… all her body was refusing to obey. She was going to die here, on Earth, lying in a pool of blood. It was going to be quick: the alankal seemed to be in a hurry to end her life. Well she couldn't really blame him, could she? They were in the middle of battle; there was no time to lose.

"Move! Come on, move!"

Taichou… She couldn't see him but she knew he was fighting with several enemies. But still he was shouting at her to stand up, to fight for her life. He was really great. And he was so young. She knew that his destiny was still waiting for him. The genius would become one of the greatest of all the times. Maybe he would be Commandant… yeah maybe. She would never know. What a shame, she would have liked to stay by his side longer.

She was cold. Has Hitsugaya-taichou released his Bankai? No he couldn't… They were on Earth, it was too dangerous. But soon they would probably have to. There was no rule in war. No she was freezing because she was dying. She has lost too much blood she supposed.

Was she crying? She was so scared. She didn't want to die like that, alone... She wanted someone to hold her hand, to tell her that everything was okay even if it was a lie. She wanted to see someone crying over her death, to know that she would be missed. She knew it was selfish but she needed it. No… she didn't want someone: she wanted _him_.

She wanted him to be there for her last breath even if, ironically, it was his fault that she was going to be killed by this alankal he had helped creating. But she didn't care anymore. Yes he was a traitor but if she could see his face before her death, if she could see his smile (not the fake one, but the true, the genuine one which was for her alone) she would go at peace. Because she was born the day they met, because… well just because…

Does the time slow when you are going to die? Or is that just your brain which is working like crazy? Because it seemed that an eternity had passed between the moment she collapsed on the ground and now… She wanted to shut her eyes. She didn't want to see the sword approaching. She wanted to yell but she could only cry. She was sobbing and shaking. Why couldn't she shut her eyes? No… she didn't want to see…

"Shoot him, Shinsou."


	2. Chapter 2

Blood. There was blood everywhere. She could still feel the metallic taste in her mouth. And the pain… God it was excruciating. She could still hear the cries of the others, the sound of the swords clashing… It was chaos, it was war.

Wait… she was wrong. There was no sound. Was she dead? Slowly, she opened her eyes: there was nothing to see but darkness. Surely she was dead. Suddenly a shot of pain in her abdomen woke her up completely. She was alive but how? Her memories were a blur: the last thing she remembered was the sword falling. Then…

"Gin".

Her voice was just a murmur. It couldn't be but… she was sure she had heard his voice. And the zanpakutou which had killed the alankal in front of her… was it Shinsou? She had to move, she had to know. The left side of her upper body was just a dull pain so if she wanted to see where she was, she had to roll on her right side…

"Don't move".

She froze instantly. His voice was gentle. Carefully, she turned her head towards him: her neck was aching. He seemed to be in the darkest corner of the room: she couldn't see him. She couldn't even feel him. Had she lost her powers of Shinigami? Why couldn't she feel his spiritual pressure? She heard him approaching. The only light source was coming from the door that was half-open.

Finally, she managed to distinguish him: he wasn't wearing his coat of taichou. It was disturbing to see him in his simple outfit of shinigami. She hadn't seen him like that for such a long time. She couldn't really see his face because of the dark but she was sure he was smiling as usual. Gently, he began stroking her face with the back of his hand. Funny how this gesture seemed so natural for both of them. She felt like crying… she was crying. Was it because of the pain or because he was there? She knew he had saved her… again.

"Gin". Was it the only word she could say?

"Shhhh! It's okay."

He could feel her feverish forehead: it wasn't good. She was badly hurt and he wasn't an expert in medicine like Unohana. He had taken care of this nasty wound in her abdomen but it still could go septic. He knew that there was no way he could have left her lying in her blood after he had killed this alankal: she would have died from her wounds. The 4th division wouldn't have been able to make it in time. He had no choice: he couldn't let her die. No, he just couldn't.

"Gin".

She was talking in her sleep. It was a bad sign. Rangiku never talked in her sleep. Was she delirious? If her condition worsened, he would have to kidnap a member of the 4th division. It was probably the worst plan he had ever made but then again, he couldn't let her die. It was ironic really. He had thought he had managed to protect her from _everything _and now she was fighting for her life, wounded by an alankal he had helped to strengthen. If she died, it would be his fault.

She was moaning with pain. And she was murmuring his name again, _his_ name. Silently, he sat on the floor, his back against the bed. He could only wait.


	3. Chapter 3

First, I want to thank all the people who made a review. Thank you very much. It's really encouraging.

To Noc and NC, I hate Aizen too. Gin is evil but his story with Rangiku makes him more human. And let's face it: he's so cool! I love his humour. Aizen is just evil. And what was that thing with his glasses! Seriously, it was ridiculous (Look! I broke my glasses: I'm a bad guy now!)

Second, no Gin and Rangiku in this chapter (don't kill me!). But there's one of the coolest characters of Bleach: Hitsugaya! And there's Kira too. Er… about him, if you like him, well I'm sorry but I can't stand him. I think he's really stupid. And he's too nice. So poor Kira is insulted several times.

Third (that the last point I swear), I have a problem with this site which edit texts oddly. The spaces are changed automatically and er... the result is weird. I'll try to find a solution. Sorry if it makes it difficult to read. The chapter is on my livejournal (the link is in my profile) if you prefer a version with a better structure.

Enjoy!

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He was the worst taichou of the Gotei 13… if he didn't count the ones who had betrayed or had been banished or were insane of course… But still as a taichou, he was a failure. And he wasn't talking only about Aizen and their ridiculous fight (well he had been the only one to be ridiculous actually). He had failed Hinamori and now his vice-captain too. Where had he taken her? That damn Ichimaru… 

The battle had been a slaughter. Many shinigamis of his division had been killed. He was not the only taichou who had lost men to tell the truth. Then again, it was war: losses were unavoidable. But what happened to Matsumoto, it was just… infuriating! He could perfectly remember the scene: she was obviously seriously wounded (she was bleeding profusely), she couldn't move, an alankal was coming closer to kill her and HE was just yelling at her so that she would stand up and… and what exactly? She couldn't have done anything. He was so stupid.

But fortunately, Ichimaru Gin had suddenly appeared (the idea that the presence of Ichimaru could be fortunate really bothered him). He had felt his spiritual pressure only a few seconds before Shinsou smashed the alankal to bits. For an instant, everyone had stopped. Then in a flash, he had seen Ichimaru take Matsumoto in his arms and run away. Since when this bastard was a specialist of shyunpo? And above all, why did he save her?

He knew that Ichimaru and Matsumoto knew each other well. He had realized that she was taking the betrayal of Ichimaru badly. Drinking with Kira seemed to be her new hobby (it wasn't better than always sleeping in his office). He even wondered if she could fight this bastard in a battle. So yes, he knew that Ichimaru Gin was someone important for Matsumoto but he never knew that SHE was important for him. It was Ichimaru Gin for God's sake! Not Kyouraku Shunsui and Ise Nanao! Not himself and Hinamori…

He needed to talk with Kira. Where was this idiot gone? He was probably drinking again. Aha, talk of the devil…

"Hitsugaya-taichou! What are you doing here?"

"_I've been waiting for you for 3 hours dumbass. _I have something to ask you… about Matsumoto."

"Oh! It's been 3 days... Do you think she's still…?"

"I don't know."

The office of the 3rd division was awkwardly silent again. Hitsugaya was eyeing Kira coolly. Everybody in Soul Society knew what had happened. And everybody was asking the same question: _why?_ Why did Ichimaru Gin, the evil traitor who tried to kill Hinamori and Kuchiki Rukia, save and take away Matsumoto Rangiku the vice-captain of Hitsugaya Toushirou, the most fervent enemy of Aizen&Co?

"What were your exact orders the day that Ichimaru Gin, Aizen Sousuke and Tousen Kaname ran away from Soul Society?"

"You mean, when I…"

"When you were waiting for us in the 46th Central Chamber."

Hitsugaya was already annoyed. He wanted answers and he wanted them now! No need to beat around the bush!

"Ichimaru Gin told me to fight with Matsumoto Rangiku, to hold her back as long as I could."

"And what about me?"

"Well, he told me nothing about you."

"Did you have the order to kill her?"

The horrified face of Kira was good enough as answer. This guy was really annoying: had he thought a second before following the orders of Ichimaru? Because obviously, Kira was everything but a bad guy. Hinamori really liked him (then again, Hinamori liked everybody… well except Ichimaru). He knew that he didn't want Hinamori to be hurt. But she was. She was lying in a bed since Aizen had tried to kill her and she didn't want to wake up. And he couldn't do anything… again he was powerless. So maybe Kira was a nice guy but Hitsugaya wasn't in a good mood. That's why his tone was particularly harsh when he asked:

"Are you deaf? I asked you if you have the order to kill her."

"No! No, of course no. I… I just had to hold her back. I swear."

So he was right. When he arrived at Aizen's hideout, the bastard seemed to be surprised. Apparently, Kira was supposed to hold him back too. Did Ichimaru lie to Aizen to protect Matsumoto?

Things were getting interesting. And dangerous too. If Matsumoto was really the weak spot of Ichimaru, Aizen would try to get rid of her. Surely, he didn't need a vice-captain who killed their own allies to save an enemy. And if another taichou understood that too… He didn't delude himself: they would use her as a weapon against Ichimaru. The situation with Kuchiki Rukia had proved it: the Gotei 13 showed no mercy. So to sum up, Matsumoto was probably still alive, protected by Ichimaru but she would be soon the specific target of Aizen and of the Gotei 13. Well that's all he needed!

"Kira, not a word to anyone about that!"

"Ok."

Well maybe his inclination to follow order without any arguments could be useful on second thoughts.

"Taichou! Do you think that… that she will be okay? I mean…"

"I don't know Kira. Ichimaru was pretty competent if we exclude his betrayal of course. He should be able to…well to nurse her. And she's not totally defenceless. You're in a good position to know it, aren't you?"

"Er… yes".

There was no way he was going to fail her again. But Kira didn't need to know that. Actually, the less other people would know about Matsumoto and Ichimaru, the better it would be. But for the time being, there wasn't much he could do. So, sitting in the dark room where he spent now all his free time, staring at the motionless Hinamori, he started thinking of a way to protect his vice-captain from the Gotei 13.


	4. Chapter 4

Notes: This chapter is all about Gin and Rangiku!

I corrected my spelling mistakes. Er... I was really a wreck last night when I wrote the chapter. My day had been horrible and my evening was even worse. Your reviews had been the only nice things I got. So thanks everyone.

Enjoy!

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When she woke up, she would always open her eyes immediately. She would never pretend to sleep. That's why waking up was always harsh for her. This time it was really, really harsh. First, there was now light in the room: the sun was brightly shining and was making her head throbbing with pain. The windows were open and the air was pretty chilly. She would have loved to stay in her warm cocoon of blankets but she couldn't. She had to go back to Soul Society. Yeah, she had to… even if it meant leaving _him_. For the first time, she would be the one to disappear. Strangely, the idea made her sick.

The air had an odd scent: she was sure it was the first time she smelt something like that. And now that she was more alert, she could clearly hear a strange sound coming from outside. It was slow, low, regular and… well in a way, it was calming. She frowned: where was this noise coming from? Was it connected with Gin? She was suddenly nauseous: was it connected to Aizen? Well maybe she was in a pitiful condition but there was no way she would be scared by a simple noise… or by Aizen.

Resolute to find the source of the noise, she started to stand up. Well above all she was resolute to find food actually. She was starving. How long had she been asleep? Several days probably. Yeah she needed to eat! Carefully, but wincing with pain, she put her feet on the wooden floor. She was okay! Okay sitting on a bed had never been something particularly physical but she needed to spur herself on. Appallingly slow, she stood up. She probably looked like an old woman. Her legs were weak: she was shaking like a leaf.

"You shouldn't move too much. Your wound is far from healed."

There wasn't malice in his words or in his tone. He was just being caring. But she glared at him nonetheless. He didn't seem to be surprised by her attitude. He was keeping his eternal smile on his face.

"I'll have to move if I want to go back to Soul Society."

"You're hurt."

"I don't need your advice Gin!"

The room was suddenly colder than ever. Even Hitsugaya couldn't have done better. And he had dropped his smile.

"What were you thinking? That I would quietly stay here, the time to recover? Seriously Gin? You were really thinking that? You're just a traitor! You tried to kill Hinamori! And Kuchiki Rukia. What were you thinking for God's sake!"

She wasn't hysterical. No, she was just yelling at him with a fury he had never seen before. She was angry. He supposed she had good reasons.

"I have my reasons Rangiku. I chose to fight against the fate of our lives. Had he never occurred to you that we could be something else? Something more powerful? Why are we obliged to die? Why…"

"I see… that's the reason then. Not dying… it's your only motive. People in Soul Society said that you and Tousen were the only taichous who were afraid to die. Seems like they were right."

"You weren't particularly brave when the alankal was advancing on you…"

The cruel smile was back. She had forgotten that Gin was the master of the hurtful words. For what it seemed like hours, they didn't make a move. They just stared at each other. Maybe it was better that they don't talk. Terrible things would be said, things that were true but that they would probably regret.

"I don't expect you to understand me."

"Good, because I won't."

Again the silence only disturbed by this strange noise from the outside. But no one of them could hear it.

"I don't expect you to forgive me."

Her eyes closed painfully. She knew he would say it. He wanted to hear her saying it. He wanted her to break his heart and hers at the same time. Her voice came thick and broken, shaking with an emotion too strong to hide:

"Good… because I won't".

And so everything was said. He turned his back and left the bedroom, taking care of closing the door.

She collapsed into the bed and the head buried in her pillow, she started to cry. She sobbed her heart out, wishing that she had never grown up. She wanted to be a child again, the little girl saved by this boy with a strange name. She wanted to live in the Rukongai, far from the Gotei 13 and the Shinigamis. She wanted _her_ Gin, the one who had taken care of her, who had given her a birthday. She wanted… she didn't know what she wanted anymore: she wanted to leave him yet she wanted to stay, she wanted to trust him but she just couldn't, she wanted to die but he wouldn't stop saving her…

He was making her cry. The back against the closed door, he was listening carefully even if the sound was heartbreaking. Neither of them needed to hear her saying that there would be no future for them. No they didn't need it. But he was cruel. He had always been: he was cruel when he was disappearing not saying anything to her, he was cruel when he was fighting her taichou he knew she cared about, and he was cruel helping Aizen to kill one of her best friend. He knew that there was a time when everything was perfect, when there were just the two of us. She said he was scared of dying: it was true. But he often wondered if growing wasn't the worst.


	5. Chapter 5

_"What is it?"_

_"It's food!"_

_She eyed him warily: she had never seen this kind of food before. She only knew fruits, some vegetables and meat but this, she didn't._

_"Are you sure?"_

_"Of course! It's like meat."_

_"Umph… How did you get it?"_

_"I found it. "_

_It was always his answer. Sometimes, she would ask him how he got the food and each time, he would answer that he found it. Of course she never believed him. Food was very rare in Rukongai. That's why she had nearly died. But Gin always managed to "find" something to eat. And he always shared it with her, always. So she never told him he was a liar. And actually, she didn't care. She knew he stole but they needed to eat. No the thing that was really bothering her was that she was incapable of finding food… Well, she was incapable of doing anything useful to Gin actually. He was always taking care of her and SHE was just… here, always waiting for him patiently. Yes, always…_

_"It's a fish. It lives in water."_

_"Oh! Okay then."_

_She had never seen a thing like that in a river before, but if he said it, it was probably true. He was watching her now. She didn't like it when he was doing that: staring at her like he knew everything about her._

_"What?"_

_"They don't only live in the rivers you know…"_

_Eh? Well, no she didn't know._

_"They also live in the sea."_

_"The sea"_

_"Yeah… Do you know what it is?"_

_Here we go again!_

_"No, what is it?"_

_"People say it's one of the most beautiful things which exist. Actually, it's an immense expanse of water."_

_"Well, it's like a lake then."_

_"No, no, no! You don't understand! They said it seems to have no end. And it's always moving!"_

_"Moving?"_

_"Yeah!"_

_He was enthusiastic. She rarely saw him like that. Normally, he was always reserved and wise. But now… he seemed happy. And she liked to see him happy. So with her most beautiful smile, she asked him:_

_"Hey Gin! Will you take me to see the sea?"_

_He froze at her words. He wasn't smiling anymore: it meant that he was surprised. Really surprised. And suddenly, he made the sweetest smile, the one which was only for her…_

_"Yeah… I'll take you to see the sea."_

_They stare at each other, both incredibly relaxed and happy. She wanted her voice to be playful but oddly, it was tremulous…_

_"It's a promise then."_

_"Yes. It's a promise."

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_

She couldn't feel pain anymore… but only because she was still numbed by her quarrel with Gin. She had felt asleep after having cried several hours. She was exhausted… because of the wound, but above all because of the harsh reality of their words, of her words…

_"I don't expect you to forgive me"_

_"Good… because I won't"_

The only thing she could think of was Gin: the smile of Gin, the words of Gin, the promises of Gin… She remembered the time where she thought that she would stay with him forever. How stupid she was! That was just fantasy. She wanted to cry… again. She was already on the verge of tears. How many times did she cry for him?

Like a ghost, she opened the door. It was the first time she left the bedroom. God knew she needed it! Leaning on the wall, she walked to what it seemed to be the main room of the house. Here he was, sitting with his back to her, his arms resting on his knees. She didn't move. She couldn't speak first: she didn't have the strength. Minutes passed in silence… She was sure she was going to cry soon.

"You're hungry?"

He didn't look at her. His voice was painfully sad.

"Er… yes."

"I prepared something to eat for you. It's in the kitchen; it's the room on your left."

"Oh… okay. Thanks."

"You're welcome. You can take a shower too. I prepared the bathroom. And I brought an ointment for your wound. It's made by the 4th division. I already used it once. It was very effective. It should be good for what you have."

And her heart? What was going to nurse it? She wanted to ask him. But she couldn't. So she made her way towards the kitchen. He had prepared a complete meal. He was taking care of her… again. She ate or rather she devoured everything. Then she went to the bathroom. In front of a mirror for the first time since she had been wounded, she decided to not pay attention to her appearance. It wasn't really the moment. She spent a long time in the shower; the warm water was calming her. Her wound didn't look so bad after all. Carefully, she applied the ointment. Gin wasn't joking when he said it was efficient. It was already healing! She put on a kimono: it was black with blood-red pattern: it was beautiful. She combed her hair casually. She was ready to get out of the bathroom… but was she ready to face him?

He hadn't moved during the time she was in the bathroom. He was still staring at the shoji.

"Gin…"

"You can't go back to Soul Society now. It would be dangerous. Let's say… let's say this is an interlude. Okay?"

"Okay."

His voice was faltering, hers was just a murmur. Looking at his back, she knew he was hurt as much as she was. An interlude… She suddenly wanted to kneel just behind him, to hug him, to let her head rest in the hollow of his shoulder, to breathe his scent… and then the time would stop and they would stay like this forever… But he was right: she wasn't brave. And so she went back to the bedroom. It was just another pipe dream: time would never stop. She was crying again.


	6. Chapter 6

Hello everyone. First I'm sorry I didn't update sooner but I am very busy: I work all the day, I'm trying to learn japanese. Plus, inspiration only comes at night and I'm a bit tired so... I can't write. But Ihope I'll update soon... maybe on sunday or monday.

Second, I want to thank all my readers who made a review. Arigatou!

To Random Prophet: Your review was so big! I made changes for the flashback. Thanks for the info. About Rangiku, it's true that she doesn't cry in the manga. But like I tried to show it in this chapter (not sure if I managed...), it'sharder tocontrol yourselfwhen the person you miss/hate/want/love is here. About Gin, it's hard to make him in character because er... well we don't really know anything about him: he likesjokes in dubioustaste,obviously he has no conscience and he likes manipulating people. And that's all. The only time we saw him being "normal" is when he saidhe was sorryto Rangiku. That was very expressive for Gin! So I decided that Gin was less cryptic with her. But it'smy own interpretation. And I understand yours perfectly. About characters I don't like, you mean Kira? I should read the chapter again, I don't remember if he looked stupid. Anyway, thanks for your review: it was really constructive.

Again thanks everyone:-))

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Thinking about it, the 4th division was scary. Only Unohana-taichou and her vice-captain knew how to use a zanpakutou but this ointment… it was incredibly efficient. Her wound was almost totally healed: she still had a big scar of course but apart from this (ugly) detail, she was perfectly fine. Physically at least… Her heart was still heavy, well more than usual. Normally, she would be sad and melancholy and far too nostalgic for her own good but it would be okay. She would get drunk with Kira or Shuhei until she passed out. The next morning, her taichou would find her sleeping in the office, they would exchange some petty comments and she would be okay for the rest of the day. It was easy to forget Gin for a few hours in Soul Society: there were people all around her and he wasn't there. But now… he was here, and they were alone. 

He said it was an interlude. She had to admit it, Gin was good with words, too good actually. They were in the middle of a war and they were enemies. She didn't want to fight, she was depressed all the time, and she was hurt… That's true; she wanted nothing more than a pleasant interlude in her troubled life. She had the feeling he was manipulating her. And she hated that. God knew she hated that! But it was tempting too. She was hesitating, she was lost.

This time, she was determined to explore the house from top to bottom. And above all, she wanted to go out! She was getting claustrophobic here! After a few minutes, she was sure that the house was not abandoned. But it didn't seem to be occupied all the time. And she didn't think Gin had bought a house on Earth… so it meant that he was borrowing it. Old habits die hard, she guessed.

"Having fun?"

Oho… he had just caught her red-handed. She had been so busy searching in the cupboard that she hadn't heard him. The fact that he was always so silent and that she still had trouble feeling his spiritual pressure wasn't helping. She was feeling like a child. It was awkward… and nice at the same time. She was giving in, she knew it. But she liked his amused expression. And he was looking at her in a way… suddenly they were kids again. And she loved that.

"H'mm… I'm just looking around. Nice house, Gin. Did you take care of the decoration personally or did you hire a professional?"

She was smiling brightly and her voice was tenderly mocking.

"No, no. I just found it like that."

He said it with casualness but he was clearly expecting her to react to his words. He was satisfied when he saw her eyes becoming more serious. He liked her expression at this moment: a mixture of happiness, relaxation and something else he couldn't really describe: the way she was looking at him maybe. In her eyes, he could see that she knew him better than anyone else. She knew all his faults but all his qualities too, she knew his deepest fear because it was the same as hers, she knew so much about him… his true smile, the colour of his eyes, when he was lying and when he was telling the truth. He could see it all in her eyes and yet she was still here. Despite all his betrayals, despite all the harm he had done to her, she was still here.

They were silent for several minutes: they were just looking at each other, enjoying this moment. They were not Ichimaru and Matsumoto anymore; they were just Gin and Rangiku.

"I have something for you. A surprise… Come with me."

She followed him immediately, inquiring. She wanted to ask him what kind of surprise it was but she didn't want to sound too childish. He stopped just in front of the shoji. Patiently, she waited behind him. She could hear the strange noise again. Could it be…? And without a word, he opened it. A lump in her throat, she saw it for the first time: darker than the sky, wilder, more powerful, endless, rumbling and moving… going back and forth again and again.

"Is it…?"

"Yeah. Fascinating, isn't it?"

"You didn't forget."

"No I didn't."

She looked at him, her eyes shining. She could pretend it was because of the wind but he knew better.

"You should go closer."

"You don't wanna come?"

"No I'm gonna look at you."

She couldn't find an answer to these words. So she didn't say anything. She knew he didn't expect her to.

Like a little girl, she ran into the waves for hours, chasing them and trying to escape them afterwards. She collected loads of sea-shells. For the first time in her life, the time stopped. The wind blowing in her face, she felt free. Her heart was no longer heavy; she was alone in the world… alone with him. He was sitting on the engawa, looking at her. Slowly, she made her way towards him. Her hair was a mess and her kimono was soaking wet, her cheeks were pink with the wind: she had never been more beautiful. She sat carefully in front of him. He still had the same amused look, _like he knew everything about her_.

"Gin… Thank you."

He wasn't only offering her an interlude. No, it was a haven of peace. And so, without guilt or shame, she gave in to temptation. When he approached his face closer to hers, she didn't flinch. She only closed her eyes when his lips found hers. She tasted like the sea.


	7. Chapter 7

Notes: I'm so sorry I didn't update sooner. I know how much it's annoying to wait for the nextchapter of a story you like. But I started another fic andI wrote a HitsuHina drabble so I didn't work on this fic guilty.

Thanks to all my reviewers. If I liked the sun (I know I'm strange), then you would be my sunshine :)

Enjoy!

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_Storms in the Rukongai were rare, but they were always incredibly violent and long. Was it because everything here was made of spiritual energy? Maybe but truthfully, she didn't care. Things like that didn't interest her. Gin was the one who was always bothered about the whys and therefores of everything: what was exactly spiritual energy? How could it be controlled? What were its capacities? Its limits? He was fascinated by this power. And she was fascinated by him: he knew so many things about the world and he was always trying to explain them to her. He was so clever, so bright, so resourceful… and always so nice with her. She could listen to him all the night and often, she thought that she would follow him anywhere… if only he asked her. Because without him, she was nothing: just an insignificant soul with a spiritual pressure but unable to survive alone. _

_But tonight, he wasn't there. The storm was coming and she was alone in their makeshift shelter, waiting anxiously for him. When the wind started to howl and to make the walls shake, she sat in the middle of the room. Huddled up, she waited for him. The torrential rain, the flashes of lighting renting the sky, the thunder… he was probably fascinated by the sight. She was terrified. _

_It was not the first time she experienced a tempest, but she had never been alone before. Gin had always been with her. Deep down, she knew she had already gone trough a storm like that before she met him but she had decided a long time ago that her life before Gin wasn't worth remembering. But this time, he wasn't there. And as time flied and the storm raged, she kept waiting for him. _

_Gin came back two days after the end of the storm. He brought her food and fresh water, told her new marvellous stories about this world but never once, he said he was sorry. She knew he knew she was afraid of storms and that she had needed him during the last one. But he didn't say he was sorry. For the first time, Rangiku understood that Gin didn't need her and that he would never ask her to come with him if he left. For the first time, Rangiku's heart cracked.

* * *

_

"Gin…"

His name on her lips… it sounds like a promise, like a caress. She was his… And she would always be. The heat radiating from her body, the scent of the sea on her smooth skin, the taste of her lips… did she know she was driving him crazy? Did she know what power she had over him?

"Gin…"

She was breathless, shivering under his kisses. Her heart was beating so hard in her chest… could he hear it? The sensation in her abdomen was almost painful. She wanted him… she wanted him so much she was willing to forget everything: his betrayal, the hurt he had inflicted on her, the hurt he _would_ inflict on her… He was now sliding her kimono along her thigh, still kissing her eagerly, trying to pin her to the ground.

"Gin…"

He wanted her to say his name forever…

"Stop."

He froze immediately. Why…? He knew she wanted it, she wanted him. Then why…? Laying on the floor, her long hair spread, her lips bruised by his insistent kisses, her cheeks flushed by passion... she had never been more beautiful. She was still panting and he felt a sudden burst of pride and possessiveness knowing that HE was the one responsible for her current state. But why had she stopped?

"Please."

Furious, he stood up and without even a backward glance, he left the room. Slowly, she rolled on her side. Looking at the imperturbable sea, she could feel the increase of his spiritual pressure. He was mad... She realized it was probably the first time she made him angry. She supposed it was logical: it was the first time she didn't follow him.

* * *

The walls and the mirror were already steamed up but she had no attention of leaving the shower yet. She was watching the water trickle out, trying not to think about the past, about the wounds, about his hands, his lips, his scent… trying not to think about _him_. She closed her eyes painfully even if she knew it was no use again the flow of memories. If he hadn't listened to her… she knew she would have protested no further. Because with Gin, she was just weak. She had no will: only a need of him always stronger, always more desperate. If he hadn't stopped…

She wanted to howl with rage: why now? Why was he kissing her only now? When they were enemies, when there was no hope for them! He was so unfair, so selfish…She had always dreamt of this instant… Gin kissing her, caressing her, _loving_ her. But if she hadn't stopped him… she knew she couldn't have survived this last blow. If their only lovemaking was also their last farewell, she wouldn't survive it. He was going to leave her soon and she couldn't give him her heart, her body and her soul. Not anymore.

* * *

The shower had stopped a few minutes ago but she was still in the bathroom. She probably knew he was there, staring at the door which was separating them. Did she know he was angry, frustrated? Did she know he was hurt? And it was not just a question of ego. She had rejected him. For the first time, she had rejected him. And it was something he couldn't bear. If he was honest, he would admit that she had good reasons to do so. But Gin wasn't honest, not even with her. So he was waiting for her, ready to confront her, knowing he would win. Because it was a game they were playing since they were children and he had always won: he knew she needed him.

She knew he was there. She could feel his spiritual pressure: he was waiting for her. But she wouldn't play his game; she wouldn't come out of the bathroom and argue with him. She didn't want to face his anger. Maybe she was a coward but she didn't have the strength to fight him anymore. But she knew him: if she didn't come out soon, he would be the one who would pass this door. The fight was unavoidable.

Resigned, she opened the door. She let out a gasp of surprise when she saw him standing just behind the door. He wasn't smiling. His cold eyes were looking at her, his eyes she hadn't seen for such a long time: he was angry, very angry. But she had never been afraid of him before and she still wasn't. Because she was certain he would never harm her physically.

"Gin… Let me…"

She stopped talking when he came in the room, forcing her to step back.

"What do you think you are doing!"

Her angry protest was cut short when he grabbed her arm and pinned her to the wall. She was expecting one of his vicious and petty speeches and she wasn't disappointed. If the feeling of his breath in her ear was like a caress, his words were like a poison:

"So tell me Rangiku, since when are you so afraid of everything?"

Her first reaction was to slap his face. But he was faster than her, and he caught her wrist easily, his chuckle making her furious.

"My, my! You're still so touchy…

"You seemed to be the one who was very upset a little while ago."

She knew it was a bad idea to push him to the limit but she couldn't help him. When she was attacked, she had to defend herself. Funny… Gin was the one who taught her this.

"Oho, could I be right? So tell me Gin, since when are you speechless?"

At these words, he twisted his arms and she couldn't hold back a cry of pain.

"Stop it, you're hurting me!"

Her voice was shaky and accusing. She was looking at him with apprehension and he could see the tears in her eyes. Immediately, he let go of her arms. What was he doing? He was hurting her. The look in her eyes… Not her… she couldn't be afraid of him. No she couldn't…

Suddenly, his hands were cupped around her face, his body was pressed against hers and he was whispering in her ear again.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. I didn't want to harm you; I didn't want to abandon you. I'm sorry."

Was he playing with her again? Because these words…

"You're going to leave me again. You're so cruel. Why do you always break my heart? Why...?"

She was sobbing now, her whole body trembling. Her hands were clutching his gi: she was breaking down and she knew he was the only one who could save her.

"I don't know… I don't know…"

And it was true, he didn't know why. She was just another victim of his excessive ambition, his hunger for power. He couldn't spare her, as much as he wanted to, he couldn't. Because this would mean he would have to stop seeing her. And he couldn't bear it. He knew he was selfish and cruel but he needed her. Probably as much as she needed him…

"I hate you.

"I know…"

He was kissing her, drying her tears, breaking her will. She didn't resist when he slid her to the ground. Surrendered to him, she forgot everything; she forgave him for all his sins. Because she wanted to believe him when he was saying he was sorry, because she wouldn't survive another farewell anyway, because…

Because she knew love was the sweetest and cruellest lie.

* * *

Hope you liked it and that you don't think Gin is a big bastard, it was not my intention (well maybe a little, I mean boys shouldn't treat girls they cared for like that!). There will be only 2 other chapters. 

If you have the time, a little review...


	8. Chapter 8

Notes: - A big thanks to all my reviewers! It seems that we all agree that Aizen is the big bastard of themanga (and the thing with his glasses, I know I already said it but really it's just too stupid).

And don't worry Tsukiyomi, Rangiku won't be pregnant, she won't die giving birth and Gin will have nothing to find out years later XD. Seriously, I don't really like this kind of stories... it's just too much!

- A small lesson of japanese architecture: The _engawa_ is similar to the Western porch or veranda.  
When all the house's exterior panels are closed, the _engawa_ remains exposed to the wind and the rain. It is the space that links the inside of the building with theoutside of the building.  
When the shutters and panels of the _engawa_ are open, emphasis is on the INSIDE of the house. When the panels are closed, emphasis is on the OUTSIDE of the house. The _engawa_ is less an EXIT or even an entrance as it is a threshold. (interesting, isn't it?)

* * *

She wasn't sleeping. Her breathing was slow, her eyes were closed but she wasn't asleep. If she opened her eyes, would he be there? With her? Or would he be gone? If she opened her eyes, would she realize that everything had been a dream? She knew her fears were stupid because she was lying in his arms and his body against hers, the rise and fall of his chest under her cheek, that just felt too real to be a dream. But still, she tightened her embrace. 

"Are you trying to crush my bones?"

His voice was amused and he was chuckling, mocking her tenderly.

"H'mm… maybe."

It was just a murmur; she was too busy rubbing her face in the crook of his neck: she liked his scent.

"Oho! So you still have strength after the last night… I'm impressed!"

She rolled her eyes mentally: men, all the same ones… But she quickly forgot her feminist ideas: his caresses on her back were just too distracting.

"Look at me."

Gin, always there to ruin her resolutions…

"Rangiku, look at me."

Eventually, she opened her eyes. Sighing, she raised her head. He was watching her, his eyes wide open. It was something rare. She stretched her arm to trace the outlines of his face. She had never been afraid of his eyes, not even the first time she saw them. She was a child and children don't react like the adults. Tolerance is a gift you have at birth; you just forget it when you grow up. So his eyes were red? Well, hers were blue… bluer than the sky in summer he said once. She could still remember the heat of her blush. But she also knew that the other people who had seen the colour of his eyes were dead for the most part. So she knew she shouldn't but she liked the idea that she was the only one who had the privilege to really know his look, the only one for whom he opened his eyes without threat... without any real reason.

As she was tracing his jaw line, he caught her wrist and stopped her. She looked at him, startled. And then he made one his most genuine smile, like he used to do when he was a child. She was confused but she couldn't help smiling. She loved it so much when he was happy, when SHE was making him happy. Then, without having the time to understand what was happening, she was pinned under him, his face only a few inches from hers.

"Good morning."

She burst out laughing.

"Good morning…"

Her voice had the accents of joy. She was going to continue but he interrupted her with a kiss. It was like the first rays of sunshine in the morning: gentle, pleasant and peaceful. He let go of her wrist to plunge his hands into her soft hair and deepened the kiss. But she wasn't complaining and soon her arms were encircling him, holding him closer… always closer.

Forgetting was so easy…

* * *

"Hey Gin…" 

"H'mm…"

_"Why did you left me?_ Do you prefer the sea or the sky?"

She could have asked him why he had left her, why he was going to leave her again but she didn't want to ruin everything. Deep down, she knew it was their last day together. And as they were lying on the engawa, bathed in the sun and listening to the murmur of the sea, she knew there was no need for anger anymore. They would part soon, they would be enemies again: this was their last moment of peace and happiness together. What was the point of arguing?

"The sky."

"H'mm… What?"

"I prefer the sky."

"Oh! Why?"

"It reminds me of your eyes."

She was too old for blushing but she was happy like a girl of ten.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

She laughed and it was like a melody to his ears. If he was sure he could make her happy forever, he would stay here indefinitely. But happiness is like a butterfly: when you try to cage it, it dies. But if the cage was just her heart, would it be okay? All he could give her was these last moments: would they be sufficient? Could she catch the butterfly and keep it into her heart? He wasn't sure: he wasn't an expert in happiness but for her, he could try.

"I'm cold."

"I can warm you up."

"Really?"

As he was kissing her, he thought he could try. There was always a solution, another alternative… It would be difficult of course, but he was smart enough. Yeah, he could try…

"Say my name Rangiku. Say it."

"Gin…"

"Again."

"Gin… Gin, Gin, Gin…"

Her litany was interrupted by her cry of surprise when he rolled her on top of him. And before his mind was carried away by her feverish caresses, he thought that yes… he would try.

* * *

She was floating somewhere between consciousness and slumber, trying to fight sleep, cruel traitor which would take him away from her. She knew he would be gone the next morning, she knew she couldn't keep him. And she knew he wouldn't wake her to say farewell. Good, she wouldn't bear it anyway. 

She heard his distant voice, she wasn't sure if it was a dream or the reality.

"I never said I wouldn't come back, did I?"

"H'mm… No, you never said anything…"

* * *

She was floating somewhere between consciousness and slumber, trying to fight sleep, cruel traitor which would take him away from her. She knew he would be gone the next morning, that she couldn't keep him. And she knew he wouldn't wake her to say farewell. Good, she wouldn't bear it anyway. 

She heard his distant voice, she wasn't sure if it was a dream or the reality.

- "I never said I wouldn't come back, did I?

- H'mm… No, you never said anything…"

* * *

So did you like it? As always don't hesitate to comment or criticize! One chapter left! 


	9. Chapter 9

Notes: A big thanks to the people who made a review! You have no idea how much it was important for me!

To YL: I'm glad you want to write a GinRan fic! We need more supporters of this pairing!

To Tsukiyomi: your idea about Gin is good. That's true he could be an albino... After all, one of the captains has a head of fox (don't remember his name) and the Mayuri (still not sure about his name) looks like... wellI don't know exactly what he looks like but it's awful!

* * *

Standing in front of this bed, listening to the steady breathing, the guilt struck her, clenching her heart and smothering her soul. Guilty and shameful and at the same time… Watching the poor Hinamori who was still unconscious, watching her fight her own memories, Rangiku knew that her interlude with Gin had been the most selfish thing she had ever done. She knew it was a betrayal, an unforgivable weakness. But if she had to do it all again, she would do the same thing. Yes, she would do it again.

She knew she didn't have the right to be here, next to this bed. And so, with a last glance towards the pale face of Hinamori, she left the room.

* * *

The Seretei was always silent. That was something she had noticed a long time ago. There were no birds singing, no wind whistling… just the utter silence, as if the time had stopped. She hated this… She had only spent a few days at the seaside but she had grown used to the sound of the waves. Here, there was no sea, no sand, no sound… here, there was nothing. 

"Can I come in?"

"Of course, Taichou."

She had felt his spiritual pressure for several minutes but she hadn't gone to meet him… she couldn't face him.

"The Commandant told me your questioning was over. You're not considered as a traitor since you were unconscious when Ichimaru had… kidnapped you. About your Zanpakutou, they believe you."

She had said she had found her Zanpakutou after Gin's leaving and it was true. But she hadn't said she hadn't asked for it once. The Commandant probably knew it anyway. She had felt his eyes piercing through her, searching the truth. She was sure he knew that Gin and she were lovers.

"So you go back to work as soon as tomorrow. I have tons of paperwork, it's really annoying. Ah, and Kira is looking for you like a lost puppy. Guess he doesn't have anyone else to drink with. About this, you'll have to…"

"I'm sorry."

The sob in her voice silenced him.

"I'm so sorry, Taichou. I…"

"It's not your fault… Ichimaru… he's just a moron. He probably did it to confuse the Gotei 13… to make us feel that they could do whatever they want with us, that they are superior. Well, you get the idea."

It was a lie and they both knew it. But she couldn't stand it. She didn't care about others' opinions. She could see the hatred in their eyes, their distrust… and she didn't care. But Hitsugaya… he was different. She knew he had interceded for her; he had spared her too many questions since she came back. She couldn't lie to him.

"Well, be ready for tomorrow. Gotta go!"

His hand was already on the handle when he heard her voice, not louder than a murmur. She was crying. He had never seen her cry before.

"I've known him since I'm a child."

"Matsumoto…"

He didn't want to hear it; he didn't need to know the truth.

"No let me explain Taichou! I… He saved me when I was starving to death, he found me a shelter, he took care of me for years. My birthday… my birthday is the day I met him… He's a part of me… Without him, I… I'm sorry."

He didn't know what to say. All these information were new to him, all this… it was far more serious than he had believed it was.

"I love him. I've always loved him and… I know it will never change. Despite all what he did, I love him."

Silence filled the room again. What could he say?

"Do you hate me?"

For several seconds, he didn't speak. Because he didn't know. Here she was, confessing her love for one of his personal enemy, for the man who had betrayed everyone, who was the right-hand man of Aizen Sousuke and she was asking him if he hated her!

She assumed his silence was his answer. She couldn't blame him. For him too, the betrayal of the three captains had been personal… Hinamori, poor Hinamori…

"No."

She opened her eyes wide with astonishment.

"I don't hate you. The Ichimaru you love… I don't know him, I will never know him. And turning against someone you love, fighting the most important person for you… I know how much it's hard."

"Taichou…"

"Be ready for tomorrow. And I warn you, I won't tolerate any bender."

And he was gone. She stared blankly at the door. Of course, he knew it. Hinamori was the most important person for him and yet, she had attacked him… He was probably the only one in Soul Society who could really understand her.

"Taichou… Thank you."

* * *

"_You've been crying."_

"_No, I've not."_

"_Yes, you have. Your eyes are all puffy and red. Why did you cry?" _

_He was knelt before her, holding her chin, inspecting her face. He wasn't smiling. _

"_Why did you cry Rangiku?" _

"_I thought… I thought you wouldn't come back." _

"_Why?" _

_The brow furrowed, he was looking confused. She immediately felt pangs of guilt. _

"_Why?" _

_He was insisting. So she said the truth… she couldn't lie to him anyway. _

"_I don't know. You left without saying anything. And you were absent for so long… I thought… I'm sorry." _

_She bent her head, feeling stupid. But he lifted up her chin and smiled sweetly. _

"_Hey… I never said I wouldn't come back, did I?" _

"_No, you never said anything." _

_He had a beaming smile now. He took her hand and stood up. _

"_See? No problems. The next time, you won't cry eh? You'll wait for me?" _

"_Yes… I will."_

"_Good! Let's go." _

_And, still holding her hand, he took her to a river he had just discovered during his last "trip". _

"Gin… Of course I'll wait for you."

* * *

So... how was it? It's not a final ending, maybe I'll write a sequel (I already have a few ideas actually) but no right away. I have two other fics to finish first! 

A last review... please!


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